Okay, let me preface this by saying that I know its a touchy subject. I am not trying to push my views on anyone else, and I fully support those of you who vaccinate, as well as those of you who don't. I think that vaccinations are an important part of our medical evolution and that they have made significant and positive changes in our society to keep diseases from overtaking our communities in the modern day. I know that diseases still exist such as polio, measles, etc. I'm aware of the risks, and believe me that if I felt that vaccinating my children was a safer choice for us, I would do it. Because of our personal experiences, I don't feel that its a wise decision for me to continue vaccinating Abbi or to vaccinate Anna at all. I'm going to explain why below.
The reason that I am posting about this now is that we have recently had a run in with the school about our choice to not vaccinate Abigail. We were told on Tuesday that we had 90 days to file an exemption form for a conscientious or religious objection, or to provide a doctors note explaining medical necessity. When I took Abigail to school yesterday I was notified (very rudely I might add) by the school nurse that they are now insisting on a no tolerance policy whereby no child who is behind on vaccines can attend school without paperwork in hand. After checking several state laws in the state of Texas, and conversing with the School Board and County Health Department, we have learned that they can enforce this rule, regardless of the fact that it could very well take up to 90 days for a conscientious objection letter to be approved by the state, denying at least 3 months worth of needed education to a child with religious or conscious reasons for not vaccination. In the case of a conscientious objection, this process must be repeated every 2 years in the state of texas. Over the course of a child's 13-year education that is 18 months of time that should be spent in school, waiting for approval from the state.
In Abbi's case, we face a different dilemma with receiving written documentation from the medical community; pressure from pharmaceutical companies and the AAP to push vaccines and deny any link to Autism, developmental delays, or neurological effects. More on that in a bit. For now, I will just say that this pressure on doctors can make it difficult to get a medical professional to say 100% that vaccines caused ____ (list any number of disorders suspected of being caused by vaccines, including Abigails conditions of epilepsy, sensory integration disorder, severe developmental delays and autism). What almost all of our doctors say is "We can't prove that it is, but we can't prove that it isn't caused by the vaccines so we are with you on not vaccinating out of precaution."
Fortunately the state of Texas has a clause in its laws that states that the exemption note from the doctor does not have to say that vaccines in fact are known to cause these disorders, but rather that the child is at risk from a potential reaction, which allows doctors to be a little more free in this area. We are hoping on hope that this will be our saving grace that gets Abigail back in school, receiving the education and therapies that she so desperately needs.
That said, let me tell you our story.
Abigail was born in August of 2001, at a time when Thiomersol (a mercury based preservative) was still heavily used in childhood vaccines. I was a new, young mother, and to be honest, I had no clue what I was doing. I had no idea that there were any risks involved with vaccinating. I had never heard the term "Thiomersol". I didn't know what the MMR even was, other than a shot that we all needed to get.
Abigail was a normal, happy baby, cooing and crying and laughing and exploring her world. When we went in for her 4 month baby shots (3 shots total, 2 of them combined with other shots), I looked over the paperwork handed to me by her doctor. I still have it. There was mention of fever, slight swelling and soreness at the site, but no mention at all of Thiomersol or any potential neurological or developmental risks that could occur from the preservative or the vaccines themselves. I did what I thought any good mother would do by vaccinating her child on schedule as the doctors suggested.
That night however, Abigail began having seizures. And she didn't stop.
All her doctors kept saying "its a baby thing" and "she'll outgrow it." They insisted that it wasn't seizures, and even if it was, it was only brought on by a high fever, regardless of the fact that they occurred constantly, every few seconds, and never let up.
When her 12 month shots came around, we decided to try again since she was a little bigger, and since we still had no idea about Thiomersol or its potential side effects. She received her MMR and two other shots that day.
Over the next 2 days, she stopped walking, and quit saying the few words she had learned to say - "mama," "dada," "baba," etc. She also started exhibiting some strange behavior such as refusing to walk from one type of flooring to another (carpet to tile for example), refusal to wear clothes regardless of the temperature, and fear of food. It got to where she was completely back on formula after having been on solid food for more than 2 months because of what we later learned were sensory issues that onset directly after her vaccinations.
6 months later when she still wasn't talking, was barely tip toe walking, and wasn't meeting other developmental milestones, we brought this to the attention of her pediatrician, who promptly sent us to Wilford Hall Medical Center, a military research hospital here in San Antonio. We stayed for a week so that they could study her here. She received a CT scan, 2 MRI's a spinal tap, a lymph node biopsy, countless evaluations, a video EEG, and more blood and urine tests than any 1 year old should ever have to endure.
In the end they determined she had severe epilepsy with myoclonic and aestatic seizures occuring at a rate of 900+ per hour, with only about 50 that were visible to the naked eye. They also diagnosed her as more than 50% delayed in all areas; cognative, receptive and expressive communication, gross motor, fine motor, etc.
Shortly thereafter she was also diagnosed with Cortical Visual Impairment or CVI (now known in many communities as Neurological Visual Impairment or NVI) as a result of nerve damage from her seizures. In short, for a child experiencing CVI, it is like trying to look through a cheese grater, or trying to make out a picture on a very fuzzy tv screen. Its spotty at best. Fortunately CVI is the only vision impairment that can self-correct, and over the past 6 years of therapy she has regained about 80% of her vision.
In that same time frame she was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder or SPD. Its complicated, but there is a great explination at the link above. In short, this disorder alters the way that a person experiences things having to do with their senses. In Abbi's case, living in a day-to-day world is like living in the middle of a casino for her - extremely busy and overwhelming and loud and bright. Touch for her is very often like fingernails on a chalkboard, or sometimes even painful. She has a very difficult time navigating her way through a world that is so overwhelming to her. I can write more about this later if you like, or if you have questions let me know.
At one point around age 4, her SPD got so bad that she began to starve herself, and was diagnosed as Failure to Thrive. We were only able to get her to drink milkshakes so we did the best we could to ensure her nutrition through health shakes, adding in fruit to smoothies, etc. Over a long period of time and with lots of Occupational Therapy she began to diversify her pallate. For the first time ever she is starting to try meat. She has now eaten about 6 chicken nuggets and 1/2 of a hamburger.
Abigail has been in Occupational Therapy and Physical Therapy for 6 years, and had speech therapy for 2 years when we first discovered her delays. She has had it sporaddically the past 3 years due to wait lists and school policies. She will be receiving it at this school, as well as continued vision therapy.
All of these therapies, treatments and interventions have helped her develop about 6 months in most areas. Her developmental age is approximately 12-18 months. She's 7.
In June she was diagnosed with moderate to severe Autism. This is something we have suspected since she was about 2 1/2. You can read up all about Autism here.
Her doctors are questioning whether or not she is mentally retarded.
While this phrase often insites flinching in our society it actually
means "intellectual disability". The doctors hold off on this diagnosis because it is
only given to those who are unable to move forward and someday overcome
their developmental delays. There is a strong suspicion that Abigail will never
develop to a functional level. She will be receiving an IQ test soon
from a pediatric psychiatrist to determine her ability to learn. This will determine the diagnosis of Mental Retardation or not.
Even though Abigail has a varying array of diagnoses right now, the doctors do not believe that this is "it" or that any one of those thigns is the primary cause for her problems. They are certain that there is something causing all of this as an "umbrella disorder" that carries all of these problems with it and have done every genetic test that could potentially be applicable. We are awaiting our final test as we speak.
Kevin and I suspect that, like all of the other hundreds of genetic tests that she has undergone, this one will come back normal, which again points to the probability that the onset of her problems occurred with her vaccinations.
SO. What are the facts about vaccines?
First of all, I am going to encourage each of you to do your own research as well, because I think its important for people to find unbiased information that they can base their own opinions and decisions on. HOWEVER, I will provide information that has helped me to form my opinion, coupled with our experiences.
Put Children First is a website that provides documentation from the AAP, the CDC, and several major pharmaceutical companies (and more), that show just how bad Thiomersol is for the body. It also hilights why it is so difficult for doctors to assert that vaccines are the problem. (and to play devil's advocate here, vaccines really are important to our medical health as a society - it is just one of those things that needs to be done in a better way, in my opinion. there is no reason to use a toxic metal to preserve vaccines. There are other preservatives, which is clear now since it is no longer in childhood vaccines as of 2003. The only reason to even use a preservative is to extend the longevity of shelf life in the doctors office, and therefore lower cost to the doctors and insurance companies. Toxicity in exchange for convenience is not ideal in my book)
Even Wikipedia lists Thiomersal as a poison, and goes into specifics on how it acts in a human body, which frighteningly mirror what Abbi has experienced.
Many ask, if the FDA and the CDC have approved Thiomersal for human use, why is it a problem, and why after 75 years is it only a problem now?
(The information you will find at Put Children First can verify the following statements)
In the 1930's when Thiomersol was first introduced as a preservative to vaccines, it was in a very small dose per vaccine. That dose per vaccine has gone up and up and up and up over the years, spiking in the 1980s, then the 90's, and finally again in 2000. As the amount of Thiomersol went up, so did the rate of Autism, developmental delays, psychological problems (many cases of Autism were previously misdiagnosed as schitzophrenia), and neurological disorders such as epilepsy.
Additionally, it is important to note that the dosage of Thiomersol approved for vaccinations was not tested on children, and was intended to be for a single dose. It takes 14 days for Thiomersol to clear from the brain and 18 days for it to clear from the blood. In an ideal world where Thiomersol could be an effective use of preservation in vaccines it still should not be given more than once during a 3 week period. Vaccination schedules often call for 2, 3, 4, or even more shots to be given at once, multiplying the dosage of this toxin to tiny children who are a much lower weight than their adult counterparts for whom the dosage was approved. As a result, it is no surprise that the effects of mercury poisoning have occurred in some of the population.
Clearly that has been the case over the past 10 years as the rate of Autism (among other issues relating to mercury poisoning) has increased exponentially.
According to the CDC, the rate of Autism is currently 1 in 150 individuals. The CIA states that there are 303,824,640 people in the United States as of July 2008. Using the 1/150 statistic that means that 2,025,497 people have Autism in the US today. Right now. And that number is going up.
So, why doesn't it affect everyone the same?
I personally suspect that it has to do with sensitivities, and the way that our individual bodies work. One of the side effects of Thiomersol is birth defects. That means
that when you or I received our vaccinations as children, or as adults,
we could have passed on defective genes to our children - perhaps genes
that are more sensitive to this toxin, which would serve to explain why
some people seem to be more sensitive than others. I personally have a
sensitivity to many metals, and can't wear most jewelry without
blistering. You may be able to wear anything. Its possible that my sensitivity to metals was passed down to abbi in a new way, with her sensitivity to mercury (possibly lead, etc). Allergies seem to be
sporaddic sometimes. One member of a family could be fatally allergic
to peanuts while the other could eat a Baby Ruth for breakfast, lunch,
and dinner and be just fine. I suspect our exposure to this toxin has
created a sensitivity to it, and as the generations go on, that
sensitivity is compounding.
It is true that Thiomersal has been removed from childhood vaccines, but it still exists in adult vaccines, as well as in the flu shot for all ages.
If Thiomersol is no longer in childhood vaccines, why aren't I vaccinating? Well, because there is so much we still don't know. It could have been a reaction to any one of the vaccines themselves. There are many who tie the MMR vaccine to Autism. This concern did not arise until 1998, which also coincides with the rise in Thiomersol in vaccines. However, because of Abigail's severe reaction, we are concerned about the slight possibility that a reaction to a vaccine itself compounded her problem. We do not want to risk it, or to "try and find out" what may happen next if we do.
Vaccines in and of themselves are also known to cause high fevers and as a result, seizures. We do not want to flare up Abigails already sensitive nervous system and cause her to have even more seizures. That's just one more reason why, even without Thiomersol, we are opting out.
With Anna, I refuse to risk her future, knowing how closely related she is to Abigail, so we are opting out for her as well.
What do our doctors say? Our doctors say that they can't confirm that it is vaccines, but they also assert that they can't prove that it isn't the vaccines that are causing these problems. Certainly, they have been able to find no other cause. As a result, our doctors are in support of our decision not to vaccinate.
What about the risks? Aren't you worried about your child contracting a disease?
The short answer is yes. I do worry. Every rash results in a small panic attack on my part. That said, I am still concrete in my decision. I don't do this out of stubbornness or out or negligence. I have made this decision because I feel that what Abigail has undergone, and what she will undergo throughout the rest of her life is worse than the faint potential to contract one of these diseases.
Even if she or Anna did come down with say, Polio, I am still certain that I made the right choice. Would I hope for that? NEVER. But I would rather my child be crippled and still have their mind than to be disabled to the point of being non-functional for their entire lives.
I have met a few polio survivors myself, and my heart goes out to them more than I can even say. It is an experience I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. That said, what Abigail has been through I would walk through fire so that my worst enemy could avoid. You can bet that even polio survivors are
thankful that they still have their mind, their vision, the ability to talk, to convey emotion, to ask for wants or to express pain, and be understood. No one would ever want to live in a world that was so overwhelming to their senses that it was a daunting task to even walk out the front door into unfamiliarity that physically hurts you just by being there. Ask them if they would rather trade their disability with
being unable to ever use the restroom, or make friends, fall in love,
graduate high school, live on their own, or get a job. I can't imagine that a polio survivor would trade their condition for over 900 seizures every hour, and the only treatment a medication cocktail so fierce it will almost certainly damage your liver, kidneys, heart, and eyes.
I'm making the choice that I am making for my two children out of love, dedicated research, experience, and determination to see them both meet their highest potential. I want them to experience the healthiest, happiest lives they can.
This is the best way I know how to do it.
And that's why we don't vaccinate.
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